Category: Born in the Eighties
Friends born in the eighties, forged in the nineties, grown up in the 00s, and in serious trouble in the 10s.
Jon, Adam and Lance decide to sit down and watch all of the Fast and the Furious movies. It turns out that Lance hates generic cuban villians. We reminisce as a dude totally gets destroyed by a semi truck out of nowhere. The movie turns out to be one big pal-ing around fest where everybody loves each other and nobody dies, except for poor semi truck guy. Paul Walker apparently is the great white hope in the race driving race wars that apparently occur. In his sickness Lance decides to watch “Spanglish”, and he nearly takes a turn for the worse. The gang also discusses how to make an awesome popcorn action movie, and how terrible the Die Hard trilogy game on PS1 is. Listen in!
Things start off pretty morbid as Dr. Death dies. Jon makes the case for changing a classic phrase to include Pogs, and Adam tells the sordid tale of Jack Kevorkian’s life. Lance joins in at the halfway mark and zombies silently protest next to disabled children. Rabid beavers threaten to devour everyone. Jon drops some biology knowledge about rabid animals for everyone’s safety. Germans indeed know how to get freaky. A Teen wolf viral marketer is found growling at police. Lance is badgered by scammers Robert Deniro would be perfect for the clown in an IT remake.
Apparently all robots hate Jews. Adam wants a prehensile tail, while Jon could go for a genetically engineered tentacle in the center of his chest. Adam decides that in the awesome future, he will have a clone body, and Jon will become a kick ass robot. Turns out that Robo-jesus is kind of a dick, and Adam will stop at nothing to crush Jon’s Un-crushable robot frame. Gamma Rays flood the podcasting room and Jon and Adam are able to choose their own super-powers. Jon is a bit sinister with his super-powered aspirations. Turns out that Adam is more racist than a robot. Drunk men are very bad at robbing banks, they should just pass out in their cars. What is the proper way to throw a small child over a pool of lava? Adam and Jon take a walk around the wild world of accents, and Adam shows his insides to little kids.
Jon questions the plot of the “The Santa Clause” movie, and how Randy Savage would have made an awesome Santa Claus. We also discuss how all of Arnold’s bastard children begin their transformation at age 10, and how it is very similar to the movie “Teen Wolf”. Hulk Hogan’s Heroes get the better of Colonel Klink once again! It is a felony to photograph whale raping parties. Our two plucky hosts contemplate how the rapture will go down, and how it is fucked up to confess spanking it to some old dude in a robe. Kirk Cameron makes a deal with the devil, and ponders getting the extended warranty. Adam also considers how cool it would be to become a demon, though toiling away at Foxconn for a year sounds unpleasant to him.
Thor comes crashing into the room asking whether or not our drinking problem is truly helping the war effort against the frost giants. A dude runs in while tripping balls on bath salts and not only steals Adam’s innocence, but also runs off with our beloved pet goat named after a children’s TV show character. It isn’t Lance’s fault that the Mexicans working the kitchen at the pizza place ruined their computer by watching porn, but he still has to do his laundry in that rape dungeon of a basement of his apartment. We can all agree that Star Wars would have been 100x more depressing with Christopher Walken playing Han Solo.Continue reading
A teacher dresses up as Mark Twain but forgets to wear the pants, Jon’s 5th grade music class induces a Vietnam flashback. Ninjas break into cars, and get chased away by guidos weilding guns. A modern re-telling of “Top Gun” would be flawed fundamentally, though U.S. Military planes have kick ass names. In Rural America, everyone drinks and drives, while attempting to elude the cops. We discuss the Mechanics of getting a blowjob whilst walking, and how awesome sticking your torso out of a sunroof is. Ghost ride an ATV dirty, and become a living god, meet Jack Hardcase, NBC CEO and remember, Patricia is the worst female name. Links and more after the break.
Adam and Jon are again joined by their guest Lance to talk about everything from the Bat Cave’s secret playboy grotto to the ability for drunken girls to take the fall at a party busted by the cops. Lance outruns the local police, and whips a “shitty” in his dodge neon. Meanwhile, Jon contemplates whether or not someone died in his car before he bought it. All of the while Adam tries to decide whether the BK kids club or the extreme ghostbusters is more diverse. All this and more in the 7th episode. If you listened to these once a day, that would be a full week, and you would be a weird person for doing so. Episode Links, downloads and web player after the break.
This week Adam and Jon talk to their good friend and old roommate Lance. He is a funny person, and he adds his unique point of view to the stuck up and stuffy podcast that Adam and Jon run. His new free-wheeling ways upset the establishment and he is thrown out for being too “real”. But, banding together with his new pal Rowdy Roddy Piper, Lance gets set to take over the airwaves with his own brand of realism. Through a hilarious romp-ridden musical montage Lance takes over the studio from the opressors. Jon and Adam end up with pies in their faces, and a Tears for Fears song plays as the kids win!! Yay! Also, Donkey Lips is still alive, I repeat, Donkey Lips is still alive. Episode Player, Download Links and more after the break!